I recently read texting is viewed favorably if periods are not used. Readers who receive phone texts with periods tend to perceive the messages as unfriendly. Texts without periods are considered sincere. Of course, we haven’t said goodbye to the exclamation point, individually (!) or in multiplied groupings (!!!) to show enthusiasm. And we can’t forget the startling use of multiple periods used to suggest an ellipsis. . .
The rest of this post will contain no periods I do want to be sincere as possible Of course there is another reason to cease with the antiquated period It’s been several months that I am living without periods, ahem, the other type of period, that is . . .
A few weeks ago I was startled by this lack of punctuality Glee soon followed!!! I have borne this punctual reminder of hormones for over 40 years
Hormones are nothing to be taken lightly I was painfully self-conscious to be known as the second-youngest in my fifth grade class to achieve this rank I demanded my mother allow me to stay home during those dreaded cycles She was sympathetic for a few months until the school secretary caught on and refused to allow the excused absences…
Those days are gone Now I am free and I plan on living as such
I can drive a tiny red car whilst escorting a mammoth-sized dog wherever and whenever I choose I can take long swims in the lake and after sun-bathe on a white towel with complete aplomb I can go out and about without a purse without you-know-what inside In fact, I can toss the purse aside and travel lightly again as I did before you-know-what happened
And to the shock of locals and those abroad I can choose to follow whatever political figures I like even left-leaning old guys with frumpy hair I do live in one of the most conservative districts in a most conservative state I fear that my Baptist neighbors don’t approve of the decal that is slapped on the Hyundai
Life without periods will be a great adventure